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revealing way to think about one's life, I think, is by way of the
Sartrean notion of the "project." According to Sartre:
Man defines himself by his project. This material being perpetually
goes beyond the condition which is made for him; he reveals and
determines his situation by transcending it in order to objectify
himself -- by work, action, or gesture. (Search for a Method 150)
photo shot by christine d-h on Oregon coast,
summer of 1999.
A primary impetus of the project is inevitable human contradiction
and the never-ending attempt to transcend contradiction -- at both
the individual and collective level. The individual engaged in his
or her project is understood as standing in relation to the whole
of human history while at the same time projecting himself/herself
into the future. In other words, there exists a dialectical relationship
between past, present, and future, a relationship that always already
implies both individual and historical movement and dynamism.
The central force driving my "own" life project, that
which I view as the most fundamental of my own set of contradictions,
is the contradiction of language. I grew up largely unable to speak
the mother-tongue language of my own father, who emigrated to the
United States from Germany in 1963. My family did make fairly frequent
trips to Germany while I was child, and my younger brother, Thomas,
and I did briefly attend an elementary school in Stuttgart, Germany.
However, it wasn't until I went to college that I acquired a meaningful
level of proficiency in the language that half of my relatives spoke
(German was not offered at my high school). For a variety of reasons,
my father did not pass on his linguistic heritage to his children.
I, along with my siblings, thus became caught up in a widespread
social phenomenon largely beyond our control: that of linguistic
assimilation -- and language loss.
"The individual tragedies which are
experienced in families where parents have different mother tongues
and where the children learn only one of them, or none of them,
are becoming more and more common."
--Tove Skutnabb-Kangas
I majored in German (with a minor in English) at Allegheny College,
graduating in 1988. However, my best year "at" Allegheny
was actually spent in Freiburg, Germany, where I studied as an American
exchange student at Alberts-Ludwig Universität. It was during
this year that I finally really began to master German.
I did not end up using my German professionally. Following graduation,
I took up as a profession, something I'd been doing "on the
side" at Allegheny: print journalism. (I'd worked for the The
Campus the weekly Allegheny newspaper during my senior year).
I spent eight years in newspapers. As do most entry-level/beginning
journalists, I did just about everything: I wrote business stories,
covered sports, did page layout and design, wrote headlines, worked
as a morning desk copy editor, wrote editorials, shot photographs,
and on occasion even went into the darkroom to develop my own film
and photos. I worked very, very hard -- for very little money. In
1995, I decided I wanted to try something new (truth be told, I'd
"burned out"). I applied to master's programs in English
which would also allow me to become certified to teach high school.
I applied only to universities in the West. I'd fallen in love with
that part of the U.S. during a cross-country bike ride I did with
my younger sister, Amanda, in the summer of 1994.
As a master's student, I decided I would rather teach on the university,
rather than secondary level. After graduating from Colorado State
University with an M.A. in English in December of 1998, I worked
as an adjunct faculty member at Colorado State and at the University
of Northern Colorado. During this time my wife, Christine, returned
to college to earn a bachelor's degree in exercise and health science.
I began my tenure as a doctoral student/candidate at the University
of Colorado, Boulder in the fall of 2000.
Two years into my program, I returned, perhaps somewhat by chance,
but I do not think entirely so, to the life project I'd begun at
Allegheny. A conversation I had with several of my German cousins
-- whose English proficiency now outstripped my German ability --
in Germany in the winter of 2002 pulled me back in. They were highly
fluent in English out of necessity: they had to use the language
constantly for pressing professional purposes. As a speaker of "the"
global language of power, I had no such pressing need. As they told
me, in English (a language choice necessitated because of my brother's
and sister's inability to communicate in German) about the inroads
English had made in their workplaces, I became both fascinated,
and a bit disheartened. I was intrigued by the ways in which their
workplace linguistic practices might be set, and understood, against
a global backdrop characterized by a particular linguistic configuration
of power and a very particular linguistic division of labor.
I'd found my dissertation project, and,
I believe, rediscovered my life project. There is a decided autobiographical
dimension to my research interests (indeed the best and most inspired
research is often driven by the autobiographical). There is, as
well, a critical edge to my research interests in questions of language
and power, and, more specifically, the question of "a"
global language. Not all of us situated at the linguistic center
of the global hegemony of English
are enamored with a global linguistic configuration of power in
which "our" language comprises "the" dominant
language in virtually every domain of power.
"There is nothing like being monolingual
oneself to stiffen one's resolve that foreign languages are not
important on the grounds of principle."
--Richard Lambert
I do not see an international order largely predicated on Anglo-American
linguistic terms as inherently liberating.
I see it, as does the late Herbert Schiller, as potentially closing
off, or, at the very least, as strongly discouraging avenues of
linguistic and cultural possibility and opportunity for those of
us who wear the dominant linguistic "uniform." I do not
view my pseudo-monolingualism or pseudo-bilingualism -- depending
on how one looks at it
-- in English and German with the pride of an accomplished speaker
and writer of "the" global language. In fact, I would
say I have experienced a major downside of Anglo-American linguistic
hegemony: the lack of any real (instrumental) motivation for me
to become highly fluent
in another language.
And this, rightly or wrongly, I have experienced as a sort of fundamentally
and life-perspective inspiring/altering closing off of possibility.
One might say that I've even, to a degree, experienced it as a form
of socially directed (though not imposed) oppression.
In the end, my research interests are driven in large part by my
desire to understand the social, political, economic, and, most
centrally, the ideological conditions of (re)productive (im)possibility
that have produced a global socio-linguistic order characterized
by the hegemony of English. This hegemony is marked by a situation
in which large numbers of powerfully situated speakers and writers
who hail from the world's dominant fundamental linguistic group(s)
are essentially monolingual. Indeed, my concern with hegemony and
the complex dimensions of the multiple levels and layers of human
social struggle for power, empowerment, and to (linguistically)
understand, represent and experience "reality," is rooted
firmly in the autobiographical. That is, a certain set of life experiences
(only a few of which I have outlined here) have inspired me to ask
particular sorts of questions. Perhaps the most central of these
are: How is it that things come to be the way that they are?
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